Dolly Parton's Stampede

We've been to Stampede probably six times over the years, and it's still our go-to when family visits. The 39th season kicks off February 6th with this new Butterfly Dreams segment that honestly sounds a bit cheesy on paper but knowing Dolly's people, they'll make it work. The whole thing is basically dinner and a show with 32 horses doing tricks while you eat a four-course meal with your hands — yes, you get a whole Cornish hen and have to tear into it like a medieval feast.

The pre-show is half the fun and completely free. Get there early for the Horse Walk where kids can pet the actual show horses, then grab a drink in the Saloon while they play live bluegrass. We always tell people to skip the paid makeovers unless your teenager is dying for the full experience — it's $20 for basic face paint that'll smudge during dinner anyway.

Here's what nobody warns you about: wear dark clothes. The arena gets dusty with all those animals running around, and you're eating messy food while cheering for either North or South. The rivalry thing is actually fun — our kids still argue about which side has better stunts. Oh and if you have serious allergies, the dust and animal dander might bother you.

They'll accommodate vegetarian and gluten-free requests if you mention it when booking, which surprised us the first time. Call 865-453-4400 because their online booking system makes you pick your party size before showing any dates, which is annoying. Plan on three hours total from when you arrive to when you leave — it's not a quick dinner.